Unit 1: What assertiveness is and why it is important
In Assertiveness 101 you will learn…
Assertiveness is essential to healthy life balance
Assertiveness, the subject of this second module in the Balancing section of the IDL curriculum, focuses on increasing healthy balance in our relationships, our thinking, and our night time dreams. While assertiveness in our relationships with others is critical for life balance, assertiveness in our relationships with our own thoughts and feelings as well as our dream lives is equally important, in terms of prioritizing emerging potentials for healing, balancing, and transformation and counteracting the various interior and exterior forces that constantly work to distract us from those priorities.
It is highly likely that your clients will have issues with assertiveness. Perhaps they won’t follow through with their goals due to fear of the criticism of others. Perhaps they don’t stand up to their own doubts, indecisiveness, lethargy, or bad habits. Perhaps they over-react to obstructions with defensiveness, worry, or fear. Perhaps they take passive or aggressive approaches toward both dreaming and while dreaming. In any case, learning how to respond assertively to the barriers that we inevitably meet on any path means that when things get challenging we will be able to find a way forward.
Differentiating passivity, aggression, and assertiveness
What is the difference between passivity, aggressiveness, and assertiveness?
Assertiveness
Assertiveness has been defined as the quality of being self-assured and confident without being aggressive to defend a right point of view or a relevant statement.
“A person who is assertive clearly communicates their wishes and sets boundaries, but does not make demands of other people or lash out if requests are not met. The ability to be assertive allows someone to make overtures to other people and stand up for themselves or others in a nonaggressive way. It can also protect them from bullies and other social predators.
From a cognitive standpoint, assertive people experience fewer anxious thoughts, even when under stress. From a behavioral standpoint, assertive people are firm without being rude. They react to positive and negative emotions without becoming aggressive or resorting to passivity.
Being assertive offers a number of benefits, ranging from less anxiety and depression to a greater sense of agency and better relationships. Assertiveness is often associated with higher self-esteem and confidence.”
(Psychology Today)
“(Assertiveness is) a form of behavior characterized by a confident declaration or affirmation of a statement without need of proof; this affirms the person’s rights or point of view without either aggressively threatening the rights of another (assuming a position of dominance) or submissively permitting another to ignore or deny one’s rights or point of view.
(Dorland’s Medical Dictionary)
With these broad framings in mind, IDL differentiates assertiveness from aggression and passivity. In the sphere of relationships, IDL defines aggression as putting our needs before those of others, passivity as putting the needs of others before our own, and assertiveness as doing our best to take both into account and then acting in the knowledge that others may still judge our behavior as passive or aggressive. Assertiveness involves expressing one’s needs, opinions, or boundaries in a direct, honest, and respectful manner while considering the rights and feelings of others. It involves standing up for oneself without being aggressive or passive. For example, stating your opinion in a meeting while respecting others’ viewpoints or politely but firmly declining an invitation or request that doesn’t align with one’s preferences or values. It might involve negotiating for a fair outcome in a conflict or disagreement while actively listening to the other party’s perspective.
In the sphere of cognition, assertiveness involves questioning our assumptions, interpretations, thoughts, feelings, emotional reactions, preferences, and the justifications we give ourselves for what we do, think, feel, and want. Based on this definition of cognitive assertiveness, we can immediately understand the importance of IDL interviewing of ourselves and others and its relationship to the promotion and development of assertiveness.
In the sphere of dreaming, assertiveness is often swimming upstream against the assumptions and preferences of our waking identity and its preferences. It wants us to get a good night’s sleep rather than remember our dreams. It tells us that dream was insignificant or “day residue” instead of tabling such assumptions, doing an interview and finding out if that dream really is as meaningless as we tell ourselves that it is. Dream assertiveness is to stay with the flow in an attempt to understand rather than “changing channels” by switching to dreaming something else – a form of avoidance – or waking up, to completely escape some unpleasant or nightmarish dream. Dream assertiveness is also about learning to ask questions in dreams: “Why is this happening to me?” “What do I need to do to find out?” It involves asking questions of dream characters instead of simply assuming we understand their motives and intentions.
Aggression
Aggressiveness involves expressing your interests without consideration of others. It can involve dominating, intimidating, or hostile behavior such as using threats or intimidation to control or manipulate others. Examples include yelling at or insulting someone to get them to comply with your wishes or interrupting others and dominating conversations without allowing them to express their viewpoints.
Clearly, there are situations where we put our needs before those of others that are not aggression. For example, when we stand in a queue, we are putting our needs before those of others in the line. However, in such an instance, there is no disregard for the needs of others. We are following the moral principle of reciprocity: those who are in the line ahead of us are respected as having priority in their needs over our own. So aggression involves putting our needs before those of others in a way that disregards the principle of reciprocity; we do not care about the needs of the other party or discount their importance in relation to our own without first investigating the legitimacy of their needs.
Therefore, physically restraining someone who is a danger to others or themselves does not constitute aggression because their needs and wishes have been taken into account in the determination that some other set of needs takes priority.
In the domain of our thoughts and feelings, aggression is self-criticism, repression, avoidance, and denial – all of Freud’s defense mechanisms that are repressive.
In the domain of our dreams, aggression is to impose some pre-conceived worldview onto them instead of enquiring as to what their worldview actually is. For example, classical dream interpretation divides dreams into “good” and “bad,” “divine” and “demonic, “helpful,” and “junk.” These are waking projections onto dreams. When people project their interpretations onto your words, emotions, and actions instead of enquiring, in an attempt to develop genuine empathy, how do you feel? If you and I don’t consider it respectful, and we accept the principle of reciprocity, then the assertive approach to our dreams is to enquire, rather than assume, as to the preferences and worldview of this or that dream element.
Aggression in dreams is also about forcing some desired outcome onto a dream, which is often advise by various approaches to both dealing with nightmares and as a purpose of lucid dreaming: gaining “control” over your dreams. Do you want others to gain “control” over you? Certainly, in childhood and under law, there are reasons for outside forces to control and limit our behavior. However, most of us would agree that a little of that goes a long way and that what most of us need much more is guidance into productive channels that heal, balance, and transform our lives. If this is true for us, why is it less true for the perspectives that present themselves as elements in our dreams?
Passivity
IDL defines passivity in the realm of relationships as putting the needs of others before our own. Passivity is commonly thought of as not speaking up for ourselves or failing to take appropriate action for ourselves or for others. As with aggression, there are notable exceptions. Altruism involves putting the needs of others before our own. However, this is something of a conundrum, as we can argue that we have a need to put the needs of others before our own, and so what appears to be altruism may include personal benefits, as philanthropy often does. Rescuing in the Drama Triangle is aggression disguised as passivity. We pose as altruistic when we seek self-validation as a helpful or moral person by rescuing. Our own need for validation can get in the way of hearing what the other party needs and responding to it effectively.
Passivity involves a tendency to avoid confrontation, expressing your needs or opinions timidly or not at all, and prioritizing others’ needs over your own. For example, you might agree to do something you don’t want to do, like socializing with people with whom you have nothing in common, because you are afraid of disappointing others or being judged as unfriendly. Or, you could remain silent when you disagree with a decision or opinion in order to avoid conflict.You might avoid asserting yourself in negotiations or discussions, even when it’s important to do so.
Passivity regarding your own inner, cognitive life shows up most commonly in not questioning your priorities and assumptions but instead “going with the flow” of habit. This sort of passivity is life in a sleepwalking, zombified state of moving from one set of established behaviors and interactions with its associated thoughts and feelings, without stopping to ask, “Why am I doing this?” “Where is this behavior/thought/emotion/relationship taking me?” “Am I trading short-term comfort for long-term healing, balancing, and transformation?” “In what ways is this thought, feeling, or habit aligned with my life goals?” “Does it reflect the priorities of my life compass? If so, how?” Passivity is also present when we arrive at the conclusion that we are indeed sleepwalking within the comfortable confines of our scripting, drama, and cognitive biases and distortions, but then do nothing to improve our situation.
Passivity regarding dreaming typically shows up as simply ignoring dreaming, although in the course of a normal lifespan we can expect to spend some five years in total in the dream state. That is a lot of living to ignore. Passivity while you are dreaming shows up in several ways. When you are intimidated by threatening dream circumstances and avoid them, either by changing the dream, dreaming something else, or waking up, you are being passive-aggressive. When you don’t speak up or take assertive action in the face of injustice in your dreams you are being passive. When you remain a victim of the Drama Triangle in your dreams, persecuting, playing the victim, or rescuing, you are being passive. When you refrain from questioning the intentions and behaviors of other characters or of yourself in your dreams you are being passive.
If aggression can be thought of as putting our needs before those of others and passivity as putting the needs of others before our own, then assertiveness, whether in relationships, waking cognition, or dreaming, is the consideration of the needs of both others and ourselves, taking both into account in our decision-making, communication, and behavior.
In the realm of relationships, when you make an assertive decision or statement, you are not asserting that you are right or are in some way the upholder of Goodness, Truth, and Harmony. You are not claiming that with more information you might not change your mind. You are not placing self-confidence over humility. What you are doing is saying, “To the best of my knowledge at this moment, taking what I know regarding your needs as well as my own, this is a balanced and respectful position.” It is balanced because it attempts to give equal consideration to the perspective of the other and to your own perspective and preferences. It is respectful in that it implies both a desire for an an attempt at empathetic and integral, deep listening.
Benefits of assertiveness
Assertiveness is a crucial skill for achieving and maintaining life balance. It has to be learned, either by the example of being around others who are assertive or by learning to replace aggressive and passive reactions with assertive responses. Assertiveness empowers you and your clients to make deliberate choices that align with the values and needs of both oneself and others. It teaches perseverance in the face of resistance, habit, and self-doubt. Assertiveness is yogic in that it prioritizes sacred intentions over other priorities. The result for you to assess in your relationships, waking cognition, and dreams is predicted to be more harmonious relationships, greater confidence, and inner peace.
Assertiveness reduces your stress by preventing both regret and overcommitment while increasing the likelihood that your own needs will be met. It boosts self-esteem and confidence. When you are assertive you are more likely to say “no” to unnecessary demands and less likely to overcommit by saying “yes” before you have taken the time to consider other intervening variables, like conflicting obligations or unexpected interruptions. As a result, you will prioritize your time more efficiently. This allows for a more balanced distribution of activities, ensuring that important areas of your life are not neglected. In professional settings, assertiveness will help you negotiate workloads, ask for help when needed, and advocate for fair treatment, contributing to a more balanced work-life dynamic.
Cognitive assertiveness is built around setting clear intent that is aligned with your life compass. In your relationships with others as well as with characters you meet in your dreams, mystical experiences, and interviewing, the assertive questions to ask are, “Am I respectful?” “Do I reciprocate?” “Am I empathetic?” “Am I trustworthy?” For IDL, it is enough to ask, “Have I demonstrated respect to the best of my ability?” “Have I practiced reciprocity?” “Am I trustworthy?” “Do I seek validation for my attempts to be empathetic?” When we do these things we are acting with both integrity and assertiveness.
Assertiveness as an antidote to fear
An excellent way to think about assertiveness is that it is an antidote to fear. Why are we passive? First and foremost, it is a habit; we don’t think of being any other way. Secondly, it is the way we were raised; we don’t give ourselves permission to be assertive because it is “inappropriate” or feels as if we are being aggressive. Third, we lack examples, training, and experience at being assertive. Fourth, it feels easier – we aren’t “rocking the boat.” It is more comfortable. Beneath all of these “reasons” for being passive is a foundational reason: it’s scary to step out into the unknown. We don’t know how others will react. We don’t know what behavior is appropriate. We don’t have confidence in what the outcome will be. Therefore, contemplating being assertive commonly generates anxiety due to uncertainty regarding ourselves, what to do, and what the responses of others will be. All of these factors make passivity a preferable choice to most of us most of the time, and indeed, society and its leadership, its businesses and advertisements calculate that we will stay passive most of the time, in most situations. They can use that knowledge to manipulate us to make choices that further their interests and priorities, not ours.
We can see then, that fear is a primary motivator of passivity. Less obvious is how passivity encourages, supports, and strengthens fear. The more that not taking action or speaking up for ourselves keeps us safe the more likely it is to be the “low hanging fruit” or the “tool” that we automatically pick up out of our life toolbox.
Aggression, at the other extreme, doesn’t look like fear. It looks like power, anger, or confidence. It is intimidating, designed to generate respect, caution or anxiety, if not outright fear. However, these characteristics are misperceptions that aggressive individuals and institutions count on in order to maintain their control over society, others, and you. Consider the aggressiveness of a snarling dog. Why is he snarling? He is presenting a display of power and anger in order to communicate, “stay away!” Why would a dog want to communicate such a message? Is it not because he feels threatened? And isn’t the experience of threat a form of fear?
When you see an aggressive person, the question to ask yourself is, “What might they be afraid of?” “What insecurity or weakness are they covering up through a display of power, confidence, or anger?” We can also thereby understand that what is often perceived as confidence is not confidence at all. Instead, it is a form of intimidation and aggression designed to intimidate others into giving the aggressive person a wide birth, or to do what they want, to make them quiet down or go away. And of course, this is not only what the aggressive person wants but also is a response that reinforces their inappropriate, manipulative, and abusive aggressive behavior. By communicating clearly and respectfully, you will create healthier and more positive relationships, leading to greater emotional support and a more harmonious personal life.
Life areas where assertiveness is important but often difficult to learn or practice
It might be easier to enumerate areas where assertiveness isn’t important and is easy to learn and practice. The reality is that no one is born assertive and familial, social, and cultural factors conspire to cause you to favor passivity but to practice aggressiveness when you can get away with it in business, government, or entertainment. It is obvious enough why assertiveness is both important and difficult to learn or practice in relationships. It is much less obvious why this is true for the interior domains of cognition and dreaming. A general principle of IDL is that the development of health, balance, and transformation in any one of these three life dimensions makes doing so in the other two both more likely and easier, the inverse is also true. A hard-core investment in passivity, aggressiveness, or both in any one of these domains is likely to make it more difficult to learn and practice assertiveness in the other two.
For example, post-traumatic stress disorder is a dream/nightmare disorder with extreme passivity and aggressiveness characteristics that has taken over both the cognitive and interpersonal domains. This is why behavioral and cognitive behavioral interventions with PTSD are generally not so successful; the dreaming/nightmares have not been addressed. However, IDL interviewing of clients with PTSD symptoms has shown a remarkable ability to not only stop passivity/aggressive PTSD dreaming, but reduce both PTSD related thoughts and feelings as well as behavioral comorbidities, such as sympathetic nervous system arousal.
This is a major reason why the IDL curriculum attempts to relate each module to interventions in each of the three major domains. It makes healing, balancing, and transformation of scripting, drama, thinking goal setting, assertiveness, problem solving, meditation, pranayama, and setting intent that much more likely and lasting.
The relationship between assertiveness and the experience of the sacred
Assertiveness involves respecting yourself and others. This respect can extend to recognizing the inherent worth and dignity in all beings and experiences, which is a fundamental aspect of seeing life as sacred. When you are assertive your will tend to be more mindful and present in your interactions with others, both awake, in your dreams, and in your interviewing. This presence allows for a greater appreciation of each moment, contributing to a sense of life’s sacredness.
By being assertive, you will feel more empowered and in control of your life. This sense of agency can lead to a deeper appreciation of the preciousness of your life and the opportunities it offers. Assertiveness will enhance your communication and relationships, which are often sources of profound meaning and connection. These relationships can be experienced as sacred when they are based on mutual respect, understanding, and authenticity.
Taking care of oneself through assertiveness, such as setting boundaries and prioritizing needs, can lead to a healthier, more balanced life. For example, when you set goals that are sacred and approach their daily enactment as a sacred duty, you are much more likely to overcome your natural resistances to fulfilling them. You are pursuing your goals for reasons that include but transcend your own improvement. This is important, because our own improvement is often not significant to motivate us to overcome our resistances. However, when we are acting out of a desire and need to transcend our own self-interest for a greater cause, such as to improve humanity or honor life as sacred, we are more likely to find the necessary motivation to do what we know to be right but which may be difficult or something we prefer not to do. This approach can create a foundation for recognizing and experiencing the sacredness in your everyday life.
When you cultivate the habit of remembering what you have today to be grateful for and find the time and space to feel and express appreciation, you will find that this gratitude can transform everyday experiences into moments of sacred significance.
Satyagraha, assertiveness, and the sacred
The Hindu concept of Satyagraha is an excellent way of understanding the relationship between assertiveness and the experience of the sacred. In Hinduism, truth (satya), is seen as the highest virtue. The Rigveda states, “Truth alone triumphs; not falsehood.” Ahimsa, or nonviolence, is the principle of nonviolence toward all living beings. It is a key tenet in Hinduism, as well as in Jainism and Buddhism. The Bhagavad Gita and the teachings of various Hindu sages emphasize nonviolence as a means to achieve spiritual and ethical living.
Mahatma Gandhi exemplified Satyagraha in several significant ways. Gandhi combined the principles of truth and nonviolence within the Hindu tradition to form the idea of “Satyagraha,” which translates to “holding onto truth” or “soul force.” It represents a method of nonviolent resistance and civil disobedience to confront injustice and oppression.
To use satyagraha as a template for assertiveness focuses on the intent for your assertiveness and confidence. What does it mean to confront injustice in your own thoughts? Are your cognitive distortions, logical fallacies, and toxic cognitive biases just? In what sense may they be seen as a form of self-imposed oppression? Is using reason to validate pre-rational and prepersonal worldviews, beliefs, preferences, and identity just, or is it another form of self-imposed oppression, to be surfaced and neutralized?
Gandhi first developed and implemented Satyagraha while working as a lawyer in South Africa to fight against the discriminatory laws affecting the Indian community. His organization of the successful resistance against the Black Act in 1906 in South Africa was one of the earliest examples of Satyagraha in action. Then when he returned to India, Gandhi led peasants in Bihar and Gujarat to protest against oppressive taxation and agrarian conditions. During the Non-Cooperation Movement from1920 to1922, Gandhi urged Indians to withdraw from British institutions, boycott British goods, and promote swadeshi, self-reliance. Then in 1930, Gandhi’s famous 240-mile march to the Arabian Sea to make salt in defiance of British laws was a powerful act of civil disobedience. Then in 1942 Gandhi led the Quit India Movement, a mass protest demanding an end to British rule in India.
You don’t have to be a social reformer to apply satyagraha to your personal life. Applying the principles of Satyagraha to personal relationships, thinking, and emotions involves integrating truth (satya) and nonviolence (ahimsa) into everyday life. It can be practiced in your relationships by expressing satya, through being honest and transparent with others, ensuring that your words and actions reflect your true feelings and intentions. It can also be expressed by keeping your promises and commitments, and act consistently with your values. That is, acting with integrity.
It is helpful to frame honesty, transparency, and integrity not only as assertive actions, but as sacred actions, in that they honor and respect the core of your life’s meaning, value, and worth.
In addition, you can think about ahimsa, nonviolence, in your relationships as a way to manifest an important aspect of the sacred, in that it expresses a respect for all life. One aspect of ahimsa, nonviolence, is compassion. Demonstrate it by approaching your conflicts and disagreements with empathy and understanding. Aim to resolve issues without causing harm. In addition, practice nonviolence by practicing patience and tolerance, recognizing and respecting differences in opinions and behaviors. Engage in active listening and use nonviolent communication to express your needs and resolve conflicts. The best way to avoid nonviolent communication is to ask yourself, “If I were in one of the three roles of the Drama Triangle right now, which would it most likely be?” By asking yourself this question you will slowly but surely leverage yourself out of defensive, aggressive, and passive communication.
You can practice Satya, truth, as a form of assertiveness in your thinking by regularly examining your thoughts and beliefs to ensure they are aligned with truth and reality. This is a fundamental purpose of the Clear Thinking module, and assertiveness as sacred places clear thinking in the context of attempting to live a sacred life. In addition, be willing to update your beliefs based on new information and perspectives. You can best do that by remembering that your assumptions and beliefs are always partial, and are likely to broaden and deepen as you gather additional information. Asking questions, particularly those that questions the assumptions you and others make, is a primary way of developing assertive Satya.
Another way you can build assertiveness as a form of sacred living is by avoiding judgments and negative thinking about others. However, it is important to remember that judgments are unavoidable and negative behavior is real but must be separated from the conclusion that another person’s beingness is negative. Practice mindfulness to be aware of and control negative or harmful thoughts, redirecting them towards kindness and understanding. In IDL Naming meditation, this is done by interrupting and uncoupling your “train of thought” by stating to yourself what you are thinking or feeling: “I am thinking that this person is wrong.” “I am feeling that this person is attacking me.” Notice that doing so does not imply that the person is right. They may indeed be wrong. Naming is about surfacing your judgments, not about determining whether they are true or false. Similarly, It may be true that the other person is attacking you. By surfacing that thought/feeling of threat, you break the tendency to react or to continue to think and feel upon your habitual lines, whatever they may be.
It is also wise to learn to practice Satyagraha in your emotions. You can do so by acknowledging and accepting your emotions without suppression or denial. Recognize them as a natural part of your experience. Again, IDL Naming meditation is designed to help you learn to do so. It will help you learn to express your authentic feelings appropriately and constructively, without pretending to feel something you do not. The first step here is to use feeling words like “happy, sad, scared, confused, angry, or jealous” instead of cognitive concepts like “not understood” or “doomed to failure.”
Regarding the practice of Ahimsa regarding your emotions, it is vital that you treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a friend. Harsh self-criticism is like beating a donkey with a stick to make it go faster.
When you feel anger or frustration, either at another or yourself, take time to cool down and respond calmly rather than reacting impulsively. Let go of grudges and resentment, forgiving others and yourself for past mistakes.
Above all, look for opportunities and ways to practice thankfulness. This is because 1) thankfulness is an antidote to fear, anger, and confusion. They do not exist in the presence of authentic thankfulness; and 2) thankfulness puts you on the road to experiencing authentic joy in your life, as a manifestation of a sacred relationship with both abundance and moment-to-moment experience.
There are several steps you can take to promote and integrate assertiveness as a sacred stance in your life. You can start each day with a recollection of what it means to go through your coming day in an awareness of truth, honesty, integrity, and nonviolence. You can set a daily intention to practice honesty, compassion, and mindfulness in interactions. When conflicts arise, take a step back to understand the other person’s perspective. Again, the key to this to ask questions in order to 1) not react, 2) gain more information, and 3) give the other person an opportunity to think and revise what they mean and how they articulate their point of view.
To clarify and develop your sense of assertiveness as a sacred stance toward life you can also study the lives of others, besides Gandhi, who exemplified it. These include Martin Luther King Jr., who adopted the principles of Satyagraha during the American Civil Rights Movement. His advocacy for nonviolent resistance against racial segregation and injustice in the 1950s and 1960s, including events like the Montgomery Bus Boycott and the March on Washington, were heavily inspired by Gandhi. Nelson Mandela’s African National Congress (ANC) in South Africa was influenced by Gandhian principles of nonviolent protest in its struggle against apartheid in South Africa. The American labor leader and civil rights activist, Cesar Chavez, used nonviolent tactics, including strikes and boycotts, to fight for the rights of farm workers in the United States.
If you feel like people walk all over you, ignore you, take you for granted, or simply tune you out, consider that it may be because you are signaling non-aggression in a way that is interpreted as passivity. If so, people will tend to view you as weak and your opinions insignificant. They won’t give you a fair listening. Instead, try signaling non-submission. Non-submission is not defiance nor dominance but simple indifferent truthfulness in the face of lies, or perhaps calm questioning of the assumptions behind the statements or behaviors of another. Playing “parrot,” or paraphrasing what the other person has said, is an example of this practice. It is in effect practicing Naming meditation in your relationships by neither agreeing nor disagreeing but merely surfacing what has been said.
Assignments and Homework
- Write down your answers to the following questions.
- Share your answers with your other study team members.
- Discuss.
- Submit your written answers to your team supervisor.
Where in your life do you most lack assertiveness?
In what life situations are you most likely to be passive? Why?
In what life situations are you most likely to be aggressive? Why?
Reading:
Under “Essays and Interviews,” read:
Videos:
In the IDL video curricula, watch:
Assertiveness in Relationships, Thinking, Dreaming
The relevance of assertiveness to Integral Deep Listening is as follows: First, an inability to be assertive means that you don’t get your needs met; Secondly, an inability to be assertive means that you don’t get the needs of others met; Third, it means that you get taken advantage of and controlled by others if you are passive and not assertive; Fourth, it means that you invite needless conflict and alienation if you attempt to control, abuse, or disrespect the perspectives of others; Fifth, all of this applies in the three realms: not simply in your relationships with others, but toward yourself, in how you treat your thoughts, feelings, intentions, and needs, and in your relationship with your dreams. Sixth, specifically in dreams, if you are passive in your dreams you do not ask questions and you will respond to dream situations in ways that validate your assumptions and perceptions; Seventh, if you are aggressive in your dreams, you are disrespecting the aspects of yourself that this or that dream character represents. Is that wise?
Interviewing:
At a minimum, do one interview a week, getting experience with both dream and life issue protocols.
One week, interview yourself.
One week, interview a subject. It can be a fellow team member, a family member, friend, or client.
One week, be interviewed by someone else.
Submit your written interviews to your supervising team member. To have your interviews automatically created for you, use the on-line interviewing format on this site.
Setting Intent:
What do you want to take away from this unit to improve your life?
How would you like it to influence your dreams tonight?
Format that as a statement of intention to read over to remind yourself, before you go to sleep, to incubate in your dreams tonight.
