The Head of Judas
6/15/83
I am looking at a mountain. It seems that the right end of it contains a huge carved head called, “The Head of Judas.” It is totally separate from the rest of the mountain except by the neck. But the head is gone – except for the neck and maybe a piece of the jaw. The builder, a man my age, is by me. He “flies” up to the top of the mountain, then drops down to a ledge that is what remains of the jaw. It is a dangerous drop and place to be. He is preparing to reconstruct the statue/head. He is joined on the ledge by several other people, including at least one woman. Then he backs off the edge of the ledge and falls several hundred feet to his death. I hide my eyes to not see the violent death.
Associations
The fall of Lucifer. The Tower of Babel. Myth of Sisyphus. Worship of Graven Images. This is a threatening dream. It implies that I am absorbed with activities that venerate the betrayal of the Christ within. What a horrible thought.
Comment: At this point in my life I was working at the A.R.E. Clinic.
Preference Predictions
Most Accepting Character: Mountain
Least Accepting Character: Builder
Most Preferred Character: Mountain
Most Rejected Character: Builder
Most Preferred Action:
Most Rejected Action:
Most Preferred Feeling:
Most Rejected Feeling:
Sociomatrix Commentary
Dream Self: I feel OK. I’m just looking. A very [impressive] mountain and project. A huge head of stone! It seems that I see it, then it is gone. Why would anyone glorify the upper, unspiritualized centers of the betrayer of Jesus? The will is broken [I am thinking of the thyroid chakra]! The awareness is set in stone! For there to be a healing, the upper centers must be present and function. But they are gone and of stone! Jaw. Perhaps the capacity to talk a good game remains. This guy is courageous and ambitious, but careless. He has a lot of ability, but he doesn’t use it when he needs to save his life. I have a feeling the entire project is a mistake and destructive. It is a mistake to glorify or spiritualize Judas.
Mountain: I am a bleak, barren, desert mountain. The waters of life do not reach me. I have been cared into the shape of Judas’s head as a way to spiritualize him through thought and activating the higher centers. The purpose is noble; the method is ridiculous and bound to fail. If the builder seeks to spiritualize me, let him spiritualize himself as an example to others. In the process, I become spiritualized. While I am glad the dreamer is watching so he may learn, his passivity is contemptuous. I am a good mountain – venerable, solid, noble. Attempts to make me be other than I am, for whatever purpose, will be overthrown. Because of this misguided effort, I am now scarred, and efforts to fix the problem come to nothing. The will is weak. The jaw is there but not intelligence, the Christ, or an awareness of God’s presence. The builder is naive and foolish. So are the others. It is horrible, but good that you recognize it as well. The death of such pointless ambitions is absolutely necessary.
Judas Head: I am impressive in place, but I have lost my ability to produce awe. Yes, I betrayed Christ and everyone needs to be reminded of my presence and power in their lives so they will not underestimate my strength. This produces a necessary sense of humility and care. Although I am selfishness, my purpose is to remind the seeker of my power. And yet the efforts are futile. Self cannot be spiritualized in this way. These futile efforts only lead to failure and must be stopped.
Neck: I am cut off, impotent, weak-willed. There is no way to command the body. But even if the head were there, it would only be stone and could only pretend, or look like, it controlled the body. At least the masquerade is exposed. The dreamer is foolish. I am not really a neck; I am rock carved to look like a neck. The builder is noble but misguided.
Jaw: It is good to give up the pretense of speech when it is not spiritualized. I am rock, not a statue or a man. I am glad to see the death of this futile ambitiousness.
Builder: The dreamer is useless, he doesn’t even try. Who is aware of the enemy within? Their shadow? At least I am trying to make people aware of their nature and challenge. But the task is too much for me, even with special abilities. I suppose my will is rock-stubborn – projected onto the mountain and personified as Judas. I pursue it to my death. What will I do now that I’m dead?
Ledge: I just want to be left alone to be a mountain. I am good. These misguided efforts only wear me down.
Others: We support his efforts. It’s great to be part of an impressive project.
Dream Commentary
If you could change this dream in any way that you wanted, as long as it respected the rights of all fellow dream group members, how would you change it?
Mountain: Bulldoze it all and have a meditation on top, where the highest point is. With the builder and others. Destroy what remains of the head.
Judas Head: That would be better than lying here, impotent.
Neck, Jaw: We will only agree to our death if you will begin work on a new man in the sky through meditating: the world thought-form of the Christ consciousness for all to see.
Builder: I might support it if I can be convinced that it is a practical and impressive project.
Ledge: Do it. Talk about the project after meditation.
Others: We will listen.
Dreamage
We bulldoze the head. Then: I am with the builder and the group on top of a mountain that was once carved into a Judas Head. It is now beautiful and peaceful. We are meditating. We are praying for world peace and are raising the white light within until we glow; the glow surrounds the group, and the group thought form smog of fear, hate, etc. dissipates. In its place, a huge manifestation of the Christ presence takes form in the sky. The pineal of the apparition is the sun. The builder and group are very pleased.
Waking Commentary
If you were this dreamer and were dealing with his waking issues – money, relationships, fears, career choices, physical health, spiritual development – would you do anything differently? If so, what?
Mountain and others: We don’t have anything to say to him. He isn’t willing to listen to us.
Actual Preferences
Most Accepting Character: None!
Least Accepting Character: Neck
Most Preferred Character: Mountain
Most Rejected Character: Builder
Most Preferred Action: didn’t look
Most Rejected Action: fall
Most Preferred Feeling: none
Most Rejected Feeling: horrible
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Sociogram Commentary
Acceptance Axis: There are no preferring characters. There is so much self-criticism that the pattern is reversed: normally accepting dream group members are very critical because the root problem is acceptance within self of a destructive and dysfunctional attitude and course of action.
Character Axis: The Mountain is far and away the most preferred dream group member. Its statements in the sociomatrix commentary justify this election. Builder is the least accepted. That is because he is accepting and personifies attitudes and actions that are most unacceptable to his fellows. And so they vote against him. The Builder and Jaw are likely Dream Self surrogates, as judged by their remarks and by the proximity of their placement by their peers. Jaw implies speech – verbal and non-verbal (thought).
Process Axis: It is not surprising that “fall” is the most rejected action, since it signifies death, i.e., the supposed end of all action – at least of this dismal script. What is more surprising is the election of “didn’t look” as the most preferred action. I don’t think repression is being encouraged here. I think avoidance is being encouraged. What is to be avoided? Association with this sordid mess. Perhaps “reconstruct” is preferred in part because the motive was partially noble: to learn from past mistakes.
Affect Axis: There are no clear or obvious positive emotions and no positive emotions even implied in this narrative. This pattern is driven by several varieties of fear: 1) fear of death; 2) fear of betrayal of the Christ (spiritual death); 3) fear of forgetting the evil of which self is capable; 4) fear of ego and its control. All of these fears are legitimate, primal, and appropriate, as fear goes. Ultimately, however, fear is never legitimate, primal, or appropriate. It is strictly a characteristic or dualistic reality.
It is not surprising that my dream work dried up about the time of this dream. I wasn’t listening to it or following it. The waters of life shut themselves off. This dream is similar to An Eggcellent Chicken Operation in that I am being told that my efforts are useless and pointless. I think it is about as complete a damnation of my dreamwork as could be conceived. I want to say that the methodology still has several uses: 1) to give one inner support and direction in turning within; 2) providing counsel on issues relevant to waking problem solving; 3) to convince one of the final bankruptcy of the mind so that they are motivated to let go of it. Still, is it surprising that I have little stomach for dream work after working out such a dream? And yet the paradox remains: if I had not used the sociometric method on this dream, I would have repressed and avoided its conclusions. They would have manifested in my life in a contra-sacramental form: as an outward and visible sign of an inward and karmic attachment. I will not know if dream sociometry is and will always be simply ego until and unless my dreamwork is occurring in a thoroughgoing meditative context: a life built around unification with the non-dual and loving others as myself. Can it co-exist with such an orientation? Judging from history, I would have to say “no.” Few, if any, historical sages want anything to do with dreams. Still, Jesus speaking in parables is a metaphor of God speaking to man analogically. And there can be little doubt that the divine manifests to us in our dreams.
